Can I have your daughter for the rest of my life? You say I’ll never get your blessing ’til the day I die.

Song & Artist
Rude by MAGIC!

Men don’t STILL ask future in-laws for their matrimonial blessing.

In MAGIC!’s reggae-laced, absurdly-catchy single Rude, lead vocalist Nasri asks his girl’s dad for marital endorsement. After a man has the epiphany that his bae is the ONE, does he bypass paternal approval for their Capulet-Montague merger? I say yes. Let’s see what we find down engagement lane.

For this article I will use permission/blessing and father/parents interchangeably. (There are distinctions. This is a music blog. It’s not that serious.) The practice of gaining nuptial acceptance from the father goes back millennia. Predating Hammurabi and his crew, potential husbands received a dowry from the bride’s family. It was imperative that the woman’s daddy cosign on the union for the couple to get that coinage (or livestock or property, you get the picture). Dowries continue to exist in many societies.

Both a Wedding Channel survey and a 60 Minutes/Vanity Fair poll found that approximately half of participants feel a guy should obtain wedlock agreement before popping the question. The tag team of Men’s Health Magazine and concluded that

This is in complete contrast with the UK, where 80 percent of people said asking a girl’s padre for her hand in marriage was unnecessary. Nowadays the matrimony validation is more a sign of respect than a prerequisite. Tradition prevails!

Location, location, location. Not talking about real estate. Eastern and southern states believe more in getting parents’ buy-in than the rest of the U.S. About 3 percent of women feel the age-old ritual is sexist and offensive. One author noted that while the custom is nostalgic, it’s entrenched in hard core legal doctrine when a woman’s sexuality and productivity belonged to dear old dad.

Experts agree it is highly unlikely you’ll get a thumbs down, but be prepared to move on with the betrothal if you do. Her folks may have separation anxiety concerning their baby girl. It’s a real thing.

After you get parental authorization don’t blow the proposal. The element of surprise is key. The overwhelming amount of women desire to see a man on bended knee and want to explicitly hear those magic words “Will you marry me?” Not, “We ain’t getting no younger, we might as well do it.”

Baaaaaaaaad. The worst. Hell to the nah! (3:58 mark)

Gooooooooooood! I’ve watched this several times, but you can skip to the 5:oo mark with a sprinkle of Brian McKnight.

I was all kinds of wrong. Men unequivocally feel it’s important to procure parental permission. Fellas if you want to start your wedded life out right, have a conversation with pops and ma dukes.


lyricfancy uses music as a conduit to humorously discuss human nature. This article is in no way a personal judgment about the artist. We believe in creative expression.



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