Did I build a ship to wreck?

Song and Artist
Ship to Wreck by Florence + the Machine

People intentionally employ self-destructive behavior to break up their romantic happy home.

Florence almost rhetorically ponders if she built a life with her man, just to see it go down in flames due to her toxic tendencies. Are people fantastically sabotaging themselves resulting in heaping hot mess relationships? Let’s gawk, slightly shielding our eyes, at this train wreck.

When I write of destruction and sabotage, I am NOT referring to self-harm. Does this sound familiar? You are Iyanla-fix-my-life determined to do things differently with the new boo. Things are going well. Then, you start nit-picking about his clothes. Or, an inside voice quips, “Don’t get too close. She’s going to leave anyway.”

While Urban Dictionary sheds some light on the concept, I’ll stick with Merriam Webster’s interpretation as the act of destroying or damaging something deliberately so that it does not work correctly. These detrimental behaviors are combinations of innate qualities, modeling, and personal experiences.

Your mind’s playing tricks on you. Common self-destructive maneuvers include:

list of self-destructve maneuvers

Mental health website Psych Center details its pervasiveness:

“The real danger of self-sabotage is that it’s often subconscious. The behavior is so logical and natural to the person engaging in it that he or she often doesn’t know it’s happening…they genuinely think there’s a legitimate reason for doing what they do.”

All is not lost. You can stop the madness by making a zealous effort to:

  • Silence the Inner Critic-He/she talks too much anyway.
  • Ditch the Defenses-Defenses served their purpose. Now, not so much. B-bye!
  • Pay Attention to Patterns-If your formula is meet bae + spend a bunch of time together + pull away, then change that last variable. You know it’s coming. Quit it!

People intentionally/not intentionally ruin unions. Those pieces of baggage called abandonment, rejection, betrayal, among others, weigh heavily on us. We have the power to channel that negative energy into positive, meaningful connections with our partners.  In the wise words of knowledge-dropper Erykah Badu, “Pack light.”


lyricfancy uses music as a conduit to humorously discuss human nature. This article is in no way a personal judgment about the artist. We believe in creative expression.

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